October 2009
9 posts
Olsen Twins Long For Days When Perverts Anxiously... →
Hipsters Ironically Boycott Where The Wild Things... →
Despite raking in over $32 million during its opening weekend, Spike Jonze’s Where The Wild Things Are did not attract its expected audience. In an attempt to be ironic,…
Last Remaining Heroes Fan Raves About Lesbian Kiss... →
Charles Buckman, the last known fan of the NBC drama Heroes, has been raving to seemingly nobody in particular about the lesbian kiss that took place between costars Hayden…
Zach Braff Dispels Death Rumor With Poignant... →
After the internet was flooded with false reports of his death, Zach Braff has responded the only way he knows how: with a poignant voiceover.
In a video posted to his website,…
Michael Vick Hopes New Show Will Help Fans Forget... →
Upset that his reputation as a psychopathic dog fighter has overshadowed his zest for transmitting genital herpes to unsuspecting women, embattled quarterback Michael Vick…
Kid Manager Dooms Minnesota Twins Once Again →
Overnight Millionaire Biff Tannen Opening Casino... →
Nefarious gambler and anti-manure lobbyist Biff Tannen has announced plans to erect a twenty-eight floor hotel and casino in downtown Detroit. Tannen, famous for legalizing…
Erin Andrews’ Peeping Tom High Fived While... →
Michael David Barrett, the peeping tom responsible giving America the gift of Erin Andrews naked, was arrested last week at Chicago’s O’Hare airport by the FBI.
Though none…
Time Traveler Runs into Orlando Bloom in 18th... →
Out for some casual century hopping, time traveler Ralph Dockwell encountered a familiar face while gallivanting through London, 1778.
Hanging out at a pub discussing the recent dissent in…