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Olsen Twins Long For Days When Perverts Anxiously Awaited Their 18th Birthday

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Hipsters Ironically Boycott Where The Wild Things Are

hipster-boycott-articleDespite raking in over $32 million during its opening weekend, Spike Jonze’s Where The Wild Things Are did not attract its expected audience. In an attempt to be ironic,…


Last Remaining Heroes Fan Raves About Lesbian Kiss To Nobody In Particular

heroes_kiss_articleCharles Buckman, the last known fan of the NBC drama Heroes, has been raving to seemingly nobody in particular about the lesbian kiss that took place between costars Hayden…


Zach Braff Dispels Death Rumor With Poignant Voiceover

After the internet was flooded with false reports of his death, Zach Braff has responded the only way he knows how: with a poignant voiceover.

In a video posted to his website,…


Michael Vick Hopes New Show Will Help Fans Forget Dog Fights, Remember Herpes Outbreaks

michael-vickUpset that his reputation as a psychopathic dog fighter has overshadowed his zest for transmitting genital herpes to unsuspecting women, embattled quarterback Michael Vick…


Kid Manager Dooms Minnesota Twins Once Again

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Overnight Millionaire Biff Tannen Opening Casino in Downtown Detroit

biff_tannenNefarious gambler and anti-manure lobbyist Biff Tannen has announced plans to erect a twenty-eight floor hotel and casino in downtown Detroit. Tannen, famous for legalizing…


Erin Andrews’ Peeping Tom High Fived While Arrested

erinandrewspeepingtomMichael David Barrett, the peeping tom responsible giving America the gift of Erin Andrews naked, was arrested last week at Chicago’s O’Hare airport by the FBI.

Though none…


Time Traveler Runs into Orlando Bloom in 18th Century England

Out for some casual century hopping, time traveler Ralph Dockwell encountered a familiar face while gallivanting through London, 1778.

Hanging out at a pub discussing the recent dissent in…


Neil Patrick Harris Given How I Met Your Mother Spinoff Titled “The Show You Actually Want to Watch.”

Since the premiere of How I Met Your Mother, fans have believed the sitcom would be far superior if it narrowed its focus to exclusively follow the exploits of Barney, the beloved…


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